My yoga story.

My story with yoga began almost 20 years ago. I was looking for a way to support my active lifestyle as a teenager. I found a Yogalates class that was being run out of a shoe store, and it was at that time I became hooked. But let me tell you, the way yoga has weaved into my life did not become clear until recently. 

When I was 17, on November 11, my boyfriend at the time was playing hockey. He lived and breathed hockey, and a friend and I were watching their tournament. He hit the boards, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and it changed the course of our lives forever. In the time afterwards is where I found yoga. Thinking it was just a way to support my body to play basketball, it really was a way to connect with my inner self, and maybe heal from the trauma. As we know now, trauma is held within our bodies in different ways. I kept practicing yoga throughout university, trying different practices, but I wasn’t ready to heal. I had blocked out the accident, and used different methods to try and forget what had happened. 

My story then leads me to my mid-twenties. I had finished university, and moved to a small island up north. Here we had built a house from nothing. When we moved in there wasn't a door, insulation, or plumbing. It was an adventure to say the least. At this time, I found myself to be very lonely as I didn’t know many people on this small island, and I found it hard to make friends. Many people had lived there their whole life, so had a very established group of friends. I found a cozy little yoga studio and fell in love with the practice again, and found a small community of like minded people, and one really good friend in the process. This time of my life was difficult. I was far from my family and my support, my relationship was not easy navigating different values. Being on my yoga mat was coming home to myself. It is that time where you were alone with your thoughts, connecting to that authentic voice inside of you. It is quieting the stories that you were telling yourself, or that others were trying to make you believe. It is the movement, flowing with your breath through each pose, challenging yourself, going a little bit deeper. Peeling back the layers until the truth came out. That place is where the magic happens. That place is home. I loved that little studio, and am inspired to build my own cozy, intimate studio. 

Ok now let us skip forward many years, leaving out many details. I am pregnant with my second baby. This is COVID times, a whole different experience than my first baby. We live in a new community, where I felt isolated and lonely. We were a short drive to our family and friends, but we did not understand what the effects of COVID were, especially while being pregnant so we stuck to ourselves. When labour with my second started is when the trauma of my first birth came to light. I did not expect it to show up in that way, or have such an affect on me, but as we know and will continue to explore, trauma is held in our bodies. It shows up in mysterious ways. My second baby was very different from my first, as we all are. But during this time my mental health deteriorated, I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. Again I felt isolated, and alone, but this time I had two babies to care for. Here is where I found my mat. I came back home to myself. It started with grounding. Just lying on the hard floor, baby beside me. Breathing, noticing, observing. Then came more movement, finding more space, cracking open that inner self. The yoga and the journaling allowed me to find the inner voice again, find my authenticity and support me through this postpartum time. Let's be real though, medication also helped, asking for support when needed, and finding like minded people and being honest about our struggles. Baby #3 soon came after this second born, so there was no slowing down. Yoga was and continues to be a constant form of self care, but now it is expanding. More learning, more awareness, more support. 

In the past, I dabbled in teaching, but now I found my purpose. Supporting other mothers through movement, breath, and connection. We have all lived many different lives, so lets come together, support each other, encourage each other, and just be kind. 

The Motherhood Movement is coming February 29th. Stay engaged.